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What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 04:04

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

What happens?

I believe this non-love is the best I can do and spend all my time and energy attempting to preserve the very thing that causes me pain.

I would work hard at only being interested in people who are equally interested in me.

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

“Making someone love me” is the most painful, most fruitless of efforts, because love cannot be manufactured in this way.

I would ask myself why I consider it worth my time to be with someone who does not find me valuable. Identifying this answer will over time protect me from finding myself in this same predicament over and over.

I would leave this partner to grant him full freedom to go find whatever he is looking for and spend the time and energy that I put into that relationship getting to know myself. What I would find is someone flawed and worthy of love.

Why do men suck dick? Me, I can't get enough

If my “partner” didn’t see value in me and hurt me searching for something in others, I would remind myself that I cannot change people, “make them see” or “make them love me”.

I would realize that it’s not my partner who is hurting me. I am hurting myself, by agreeing to stay with someone who is looking for something he is not finding in me.

There is another scenario:

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

In one scenario, I stay with this partner, wonder why he doesn’t love me, and begin living in a world of my creation where I believe that, unfortunately, I am not worth loving.